For most of my life, I had either ignored my body or did things which hurt it, living far too much in my mind, and I now feel that this is impossible
Part 3 of Awakening by E-mail
Thu Feb 21 2002
Just when I thought I was losing it...
Here's what I wrote in my journal earlier this morning:
A difficult and joyous night. 12 AM to 3 AM I experienced fitful sleeping - almost as if I had too much coffee late in the evening - but I hadn't had coffee since afternoon. I wondered where was the peace was that I had been feeling so deeply. Maybe it was too much theology reading and thinking about God keeping me awake. Maybe it was too much thinking about what had happened lately. Maybe it was too much thinking, period.
Maybe I needed to simply rest in the fullness of the Divine. I dozed off some more until about 4 AM, then got what I needed and more - easing into wakefulness - a complete sense of being suffused with joy and love - like being immersed deep in an ocean - but it was life giving. I felt my body come alive with breathing - deep slow effortless breaths immersed in the ocean of life. My body stretched and relaxed and fell into deep rest until I woke up three hours later.
After I got up, I felt quite "centered" or "grounded" and very much that I am inhabiting this body. For most of my life, I had either ignored my body or did things which hurt it, living far too much in my mind, and I now feel that this is impossible. I strongly sense that I am not my body but I am present THROUGH it, and my interaction with others depends on its proper care and feeding.
I later found myself with the time and energy for the final push to wrap up the block of updates that I just posted.
Peace and love,