Direct Connection in our Communication
What also surprises me is that there was such a direct connection in our communication, almost like conversing with oneself or looking into the same basic eyes.
I am the person who has been seeking (and working for) enlightenment for 8 years (after an initial spontaneous glimpse - very partial &brief - into what seemed like the real nature of things).
I want to convey here something of what You gave to me during our one-to-ones.
I asked You to show me how to meditate in a "passive" way, which for me has been immensely difficult (the dynamic kind of concentrative meditation having been easy for me, but as I said, I now feel ready to go beyond that to total letting go, to surrender - yet a bodily(?) tension hindering me from it and making me feel stuck).
Well, the strange thing is that You did exactly what I wished, exactly!
You coached me through an initial relaxing of body and mind to - ah ah, I find I have not words for what You did, nor memory of the words You used - so I'll just tell that this meditation has opened a new way of being to me: there's this openness, a continuous presence of the something (it's still rather vague what it is, but it is very real now), connectedness with everything, and a "funny" feeling that things are as they should be and I don't need to try and have control over things and people. (In fact this does sound just like the descriptions of how they tell you to be, but I never managed to "do" it!)
What also surprises me is that there was such a direct connection in our communication, almost like conversing with oneself or looking into the same basic eyes. When I first found out about spiritual practice, I expected it would be a lot like that with enlightened beings, but I then saw how very rare it is. This doesn't make any sense, since we are all supposed to have the same Great Mind or whatever one wants to call It.
I have met a lot of enlightened Teachers from, well, all over the world. And living in Sweden I was lucky to meet even famous Masters in intimate surroundings like at someone's home, since the groups in Stockholm are new and small as yet - so there would have been an opportunity for a meaningful connecting. But apart from maybe one, they all seemed distant in some way and their speeches did not make much impact on me.
It used to be like the real thing that I was looking for, whatever it was that was still asleep inside me, yet vaguely felt and wanting to become awake and alive, it could not find itself clearly manifested in these beings as it expected to be!
So how can it be then that a guy from London who got recently enlightened, has the precious qualities and abilities that these renowned Teachers did not seem to have?!?
Perhaps it is the Bodhisattva (to use Your expression) spirit.
That is very important to me, it happened in my first months of very "ignorant" practice that in meditation my own "Bodhisattva Vow" surged up from beneath with great strength, and that was before I knew anything of such a thing.
So I thank my good fortune in having met You, as someone who helps me, and as someone whom I see as an inspiration on my first wobbling steps on the Bodhisattva Path.
And I would actually very much want, and yes, need to get a tape where You direct the kind of "journey" to emptiness and letting go and dying to everything, as You did on that 1 to 1 five days ago. Though it took me over a great obstacle, I can't make that kind of meditation happen on my own as yet, and I am yearning for it.
With love and gratitude and joy,
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