After One Year of Teaching, Oshana has Definitely Arrived
by Oshana's PR manager (satire)
Oshana discovered the ultimate secret after 30 years of unrelenting seeking. It cannot satisfactorily be put into words. It has to be pointed at. Oshana often does this with humour but sometimes he uses his finger. If he was asked to sum it enlightenment in 10 words or less, he would say: "Only one thing exists everywhere - I'm working on a name for it, how does "Essence of Oshana" sound?"
When did he first start seeking, you ask?
From the tender age of 5, Oshana studied what he was told are "the mysteries of life". It was called yoga then. He heard that cosmic consciousness and enlightenment could be had by repeating a mantra. At age 11, he received his first public initiation
[Oshana: Actually, it was a private, in a bedroom that had a makeshift Hindu altar].
Prophetically, he was told by a mysterious woman that he would undoubtedly achieve the highest attainment possible.
[Oshana: I didn't know what she meant. 20 years later I assumed that she was just bluffing - and then I got "IT"].
"IT" is the direct perception that "I am not this body. I contain everything". It's the ultimate in self-sufficiency.
[Oshana: At the risk of sounding evasive, and I really want you to get this, it's not that either. However, I know what it means].
It is also called realizing God, infinity, reality, self-realization and liberation.
[Oshana: Yes, but if you don't know what it means then you don't know what it means. I know that sounds obvious but some people seem to unconsciously believe that by possessing a word they know it what it means. They don't.]
Oshana now guides others in their own personal voyages of self-discovery through a variety of energetic exercises involving talk, sitting, sensing and moving. A unique and compassionate communicator with a passion for waking people up, his natural ability and perceptive methods have been highly acclaimed for their immediate effectiveness.
[Oshana: Can I go home now?]
PR Manager: So can I say "After one year of teaching, Oshana has arrived"?
[Oshana: As I said before: I arrived before I started teaching. It's been like coasting down a hill since then. If I retire and become an ordinary lad again, would you mind?]