Many suffer soul fatigue at this time of the year. But one thing is for sure - your consciousness will never forget that it is trapped. Eventually whatever drove you to this Teaching and Transmission will clearly make itself blatantly obvious above the noise of your mind. You started on this path only because you were driven from inside. It is a burden to be celebrated because it leads you to freedom.
Hi ......! [EP London]
Many suffer soul fatigue at this time of the year - it's an Xmas
over-indulgence, commercial meaningless misery, shortest day of the year, yet
another year to pay the bills and get closer to death "thang".
But one thing is for sure - your consciousness will never forget that it is
trapped. It's very nature is to crack the glass jar that encloses it and merge
into the ocean.
Fatigue, giving up, confusion, bewilderment and being at a loss over what to do
- can all be part of that. On the other hand, as you wondered, it can be
"another Seeker's trap". No surprises there. For the seeker, away from Teacher,
Teaching and Transmission, it's lobster traps all the way up (to adapt the
expression "Turtles all they way down"). The Universe is one big lobster trap,
easy to enter, almost impossible to leave.
Yet, at least at the physical level, you have been clearing stuff out. This has
followed the inner energy clearing work. When your focus goes to the material
life it naturally moves away from the more subtle levels. Yet even on an
overcast day the sun can break through the clouds.
Eventually whatever drove you to this Teaching and Transmission will clearly
make itself blatantly obvious above the noise of your mind which has found a
simple set of judgements about "what it is to be spiritual" to crucify you -
just one more time.
If you were so far from the path, you would not be contacting your teacher for
advice knowing full well that the result - as ever - will be life-changing, yet
one more time - and how many people, even yourself would have been ready for the
massive changes that you have had in the last year? Even those would sufficient
for many to cater for a lifetime of spiritual campfire stories. But as you know,
we, an impatient group, rest not on our laurels, but move on into the next
adventure - as does the flow of life.
If you feel tired or fatigued, then rest. If you lose your way, then attend an
intensive, or as you have done seek contact with the Teacher, Teaching and
Wherever you are at inside - enjoy it or at least experience that moment and
then the next, and next, and next...
When there is no resistance to your deepest feelings, then the inner coach can
guide you home with the quietest of words and smallest of touches.
You started on this path only because you were driven from inside. It is not an
identity. It is a burden to be celebrated because it leads you to freedom.
You can't change who you really are. The tension and frustration you feel
sometimes is that your external life does not match the inner expression inside,
that you are not true to that. That energy inside is the expression of truth,
that yearns to be born on this planet. Everyone is potentially a mother to
something greater than their limited knowledge.
Commitment to Enlightenment is not to be measured by how active you are but by
how committed you are to being true to yourself.
Laziness, the "Seeker's trap", that you refer to is recurring phenomena. Yet
it's very regularity will eventually over-expose it and fatigue you of its
novelty - leading you to clearly see that it is yet one more place that you do
not wish to be.
When at last you breathe the last exasperated sigh - hopefully before the
shuffling off this mortal coil - you will know the bliss of ego-death and the
opening the gates to light, eternity and infinity...
Eventually all rivers flow to the sea....
> Subject:Eli Eli Lama Sabachthani!
> Hi O,
> Sorry for the dramatic subject header but I feel I'm in a bit of an odd space at
> the moment.
> I don't want to take too much of your time but I need to re-connect with you and
> explain my lack of presence on the web recently.
> Not sure what it is but since coming back from my hols I haven't been very
> enthused or motivated to do anything 'spiritual'. Energy work has tailed off, I
> haven't been doing much Oshana work and I kind of generally feel like it's all
> been a dream and I've woken up to material existence again.
> I'm half cringing as I write this but I'm at a loss as to where my natural drive
> for all things spiritual has gone. I still see you in dream, in fact I had one
> last night but I can't remember the details.
> I can't pin it down, is this another Seeker's trap, am I just bone lazy, what?
> On a positive note, I've been involved in clearing out my personal effects, I
> spent the weekend emptying out year's worth of accumulated paperwork and other
> bric a brac...
> But I do feel like apologising for not being more productive this past week or
> PS I'm very happy to hear you'll be back to teach here next month.